Where do I begin…. I have so much to say and I promise to be honest and transparent. If you have never experienced any mental health disorder don’t be quick to judge, these things happen and they are true.
How you experience anxiety is individualized and we all have our triggers, mine began with separation anxiety at the age of eleven, after I left home for the first time to a boarding school. I can remember some of my experiences included, a constant state of being afraid and worried about my loved ones, this made me pray constantly, mumbling prayers every second even though most times I was saying the exact same thing. I fasted like crazy on every particular day of the week. I was always alone wasn’t interested in making friends in fact no one was interested to be with me. I also made sure my routines were repeated exactly in the same pattern, don’t ask me why, I still cant explain it.
I never told any one what I was experiencing I thought it was ok but knew it wasn’t normal. As I got older I learnt how to manage my emotions and realized that I was perfectly ok when I was at home. In my senior years I came up with a coping strategy to find a reason to be home every weekend or at least every two weeks, this helped a lot, because it gave me something to look forward to as I became almost a regular teenager LoL.
My University years were a lot better, the only thing I can remember was the repetition patterns, I had specific phobias and would avoid them in order not to trigger any form of anxiety. There was so much fun and distraction anyway, no room for worries LoL.
Now lets talk adulthood, I would call it generalized anxiety, the feeling of excessive, unrealistic worry with little or no reason, this feeling rarely goes away. It is like you are constantly on a roller coaster. Basically I have worried about every single life activity even when there was no need to worry. I still have my struggles but now am looking at life and living life differently. This is where my healing story begins, the Bible says in Matthew 6:27 ” Can anyone of you by worrying add one hour to the length of his life?” A question for us all to ponder, NOW LET THE HEALING BEGIN…….
Living In Remembrance 